In Process

I am still learning.

Yesterday, I was deeply dysregulated in my body.

I could feel it. Everything felt fast. Heavy. Overwhelming.

Everything felt unfair. Everything felt out of control.

Everything felt impossible.

I was struggling to apply my own S.L.O.W.E.R. methodology.

I was struggling to use my own ideas to support my nervous system.

YIKES.

There’s something particularly uncomfortable about teaching something and then finding myself unable to access it when I need it most.

Instead of slowing down, I pushed everyone in my household away.

Instead of softening, I sat in my negative thoughts.

Instead of asking for help, I isolated.

So today, I want to unpack that.

Not from a place of shame. But from curiosity.

What could I have done differently?

Not perfectly. Just differently.

Maybe I didn’t need to apply the whole S.L.O.W.E.R. framework.

Maybe I only needed one letter.

Maybe “Slow” wasn’t realistic in that moment. I didn't feel like I could slow. That was what added to the frustration and led to the continued dysregulation.

But could I have simply “Observed"?

I am not broken.

Nothing needed fixing.

But maybe if I could have named it without judgment, it would have created a bridge.

“I am angry.”

“I feel overwhelmed.”

“I don’t feel equipped right now.”

And observing where it is in my body.

I could have reminded myself that sometimes regulation isn’t about doing more. It's about reducing the demand.

What I think I needed yesterday was less input.

Less analyzing (a problem I struggle with).

.

Observing in the future, remembering that I am not fixing, just observing and naming what I feel.

I’m still learning that dysregulation doesn’t mean I failed. It means my nervous system was overloaded.

So, remembering that when feeling out of sorts, I can pick one letter and try it. See where that leads me.

The real work of S.L.O.W.E.R. isn’t about applying it perfectly.

It truly is about remembering that when everything feels impossible, the smallest step still counts.

Today, I feel softer.

Not fixed. Just softer.

And that feels like enough.